That old tackle box...

Fishing...I'm a little obsessed.

People love to fish for different reasons-for sport, for leisure, for food, and for a different social setting. Me? There is nothing like looking out over open water at a breath-taking sunrise/sunset to remind me of God's faithfulness. Nothing compares to sitting silently in God's creation with not one thought other than why I can't do this all day everyday...

Last week, I went fishing on the coast during our Spring Break trip...woke up a little too early, no thanks Daylight Savings...so I had plenty of time to see a gorgeous sunrise. And as it rose, I simply closed my eyes and took a deep breathe, and then opened up my tackle box. As I sat waiting on a bite, I studied that tackle box...this is deep if you read it correctly, so get ready ;)

There is so much to a tackle box that you can compare to life- to love, to relationships, to careers, to spirituality...

The box. Mine is fairly new with just a few smudges and scratches. It's not the sturdiest of plastics and still a little impressionable. It's young and a little inexperienced, but broken in. It contains the basic neccessities and things I have learned to use so far...it will continue to collect things. My dad's, however, is a stronger type of plastic, older, and about 13 shades of brown and black. It's been on several trips, not all of them successful or great, but especially blessed in their own way. It's also well-stocked from years of experience. Most of the lures are worn, but there are several new ones waiting to be used still. And my grandfather's...that thing looks like it has been through several wars and lost all of them. It's metal...strong and sturdy...with a few dents that had to have come from some pretty hard blows. And if there is something you need or even don't need, it is definitely in that box collected over a lifetime. That box also contains more stories than fish you will catch in one fishing trip...

The lures and hooks. Walk down the isles of a hunting/fishing store..there are hundreds - Artificials in the form of grasshoppers, minnows, chad, frogs, worms, bugs, mullet, etc; scented bait; stink bait; live bait; artificials that contain live bait; and the list goes on and on and on. Everyone is completely different and unique. Some are cookie cutter and much less expensive than the hand-crafted lures that are so realistic...because the hand-crafted ones just work better. I have my favorites, even favorite colors of my favorite lures, just like all fishermen. Your preferences come from your experience. For example, the shiny, flashy ones are not the ones I want...they look really good, but I know which ones actually work. I know which ones withstand the test of time. There are certain lures that attract specific kinds of fish...there are so many options and fish fall for them so easily. They are so attracted to something so dangerous, they fall for it, and then they are hooked. If they're lucky they may be released back into their life with little to no damage...hopefully (for the fish) learning their lesson.

The line Rolls of it readily available. The line protects the fisher from having to go in the water and find the fish. It allows you to keep a safe distance from whatever lies beneath...depending on how much line you release. When the line on the pole is worn out, you exchange it for new line...depend on something stronger to reel in the fish. And it gets tangled so easily; sometimes the fault of the person distracted too easily by surrounding brush; sometimes the fault of the wind because it is so flimsy; sometimes the fault of no one because you can't always see what lies beneath the water...a lot of unneccessary trash dangerous to the line. And sometimes, it doesn't go the direction you planned for it to go. That unplanned spot may catch on hell of a fish immediately, you may have to wait patiently, or you may have to try again.

And with all of the tools and experience acquired in that tackle box...you never know what you may get...And when you catch that perfect fish, there's nothing like it in the world...a true gift from God...

I could go on for longer, but my brain is tired :) Hopefully you could apply that to many situations in your life as I did to mine...what a blessing to be present in the moment...

I'm even impatient with my inability to be patient...

" Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." Psalm 27:14

And it's as simple as that :)

I wish.

spring.
My most immediate desire is to be on the beach...even if it is with those 7 crazy girls life would not be the same without ;) 2 more days and I'm still not sure I will survive that long. I need to be able to enjoy warm, beautiful weather in one of my favorite places on Earth. A swimsuit, towel, fishin pole, and maybe a toothbrush and some stuff to shower with--I am good to go. To see the ocean before me, know that it my Savior created it for me to enjoy...and that His love is even greater than the depths and span of it, takes my breath away...

job.
I just want to teach...I just want to use my degree...I just want to do what I was created to do...And it's only been about 3 months that I've actually had that degree. Talk about impatient. Currently, I have applications all over East Texas, Central Texas, North Texas, South Central Texas, the Panhandle, and a few along the coast...and the DoDEA program overseas. A teaching job is probably the single greatest desire in my life right now, so what is the hold up?! First of all, no one is even hiring right now. Second, I think that possibly God has a particular place and a particular group of students He wants to place in my life...so why would I want to be outside the will of God and miss a spectacular blessing???

love.
I'm genuinely concerned that I will never be able to feel this again...which is completely ridiculous when I give myself a reality check. My heart ain't broke...it's just broken in. I'm praying that I don't push people away in the process of finding the person willing to stick around until I drop my guard. :) Not necessarily right now, but in the future, I would even give up teaching to be a wife and a mother. I believe that is my greatest purpose in life. I have a servant's heart and a desire for someone who's life I could make a little easier and better, and with whom to share this crazy adventure called life. However, with that being said, I'm not willing to settle for anything less than the guy that knows this relationship must be firmly grounded in Christ, knows he doesn't deserve me, and is ready to participate in one crazy adventure :)

people.
I just have a tendency to be very impatient with people who take life too seriously and are always worrying about something...ironic, huh? I'm slowly learning to take life day by day and to just relax. I can tell you for sure I'm about 110% better than I was this time last year thanks to the Potter's hands...Anyway back to people. One could assume that I still have patience to acquire before I am blessed with the job and love described above...cause I bet they both require more patience than I have right now...I guess God knows what He's doing.

myself.
There's a problem when my greatest desire right now is a teaching job rather than growing closer to God. How am I supposed to know His will for me if I am not drawing closer to Him???? I am impatient with the process of becoming the person that I want to be (professionally, physically, spiritually, etc.) Pray for me on that one.

peace
...is what I lack because the patience that I need stems from Perfect Peace. So, I think I'll focus on the root of the problem for now :)

So if you read this one looking for advice...I apologize.

Chivalry is dead? Not quite, but who's to blame for a dying breed...

Women. Yep, I said it.

Last night while watching The Quiet Man, one of my favorite John Wayne movies of all time, I found myself wishing that we lived in a time where men still behaved like men and had the utmost respect for women...and pursued them with passion and determination.

I know very very very few women that wouldn't absolutely love a John Wayne of their own...a man of few words that means what he says when he does speak; tall, dark and handsome; not afraid to fight for what he believes in; loves and respects his Maker; would die for what he loves; tender and tough all at the same time; wears a good pair of cowboy boots; treats his woman with the respect she deserves; knows how to keep her in line just by being the man that he is...

So what happened to these men we are so "desperately" searching for??? The key word is desperate. Somewhere along the way, women have completely lost their self-confidence and independence. I'm not a women's right activist or anything by any means - that's not where I'm going with this. Women are relational to the core, so we all desire to have someone to care for and share life with...but at some point we decided to settle for anything. When you start lowering your standards, guys obviously don't have to work so hard. I had a guy say to me word for word, "Why would a guy go for a girl he has to work for? There's like 10 easy ones for every one of those..." What a terrible truth. Women have lost respect for themselves, so men have as well. So please save your breath and don't complain about chivalry being dead when women don't even demand it anymore. I'm not saying that men shouldn't share any of the blame either...but it's human nature to be lazy, so why work for something if you don't have to?

So ladies, find your confidence in the One who is "enthralled by your beauty." Respect the heart, body, and mind you were blessed with enough to wait for only the best. Your Maker created you and knows you heart and desires better than you do. Trust Him to meet your needs. And step it up. Have high expectation for the men that you date--expect to be taken on real dates, expect to have the door held open for you, expect to be spoken to respectfully, and expect to be pursued.

And guys, step up to the plate. Be the man that real women need and deserve. We need guys that know how to have fun without playing games with our hearts. And keep in mind the women you have to work for are the ones who are more than worth it...I'll guarantee it :)

"If I marry: He must be so tall that when he is on his knees, as one has said, he reaches all the way to Heaven. His shoulders must be broad enough to bear the burden of a family. His lips must be strong enough to smile, firm enough to say no, and tender enough to kiss. Love must be so deep that it takes its stand in Christ and so wide that it takes the whole lost world in. He must be active enough to save souls. He must be big enough to be gentle and great enough to be thoughtful. His arms must be strong enough to carry a little child." -Ruth Bell Graham

Vitamin C and Laughter

...is what I need right now. And actually I would just love to go play outside because it is absolutely GORGEOUS! However, apparently I am an adult now and working full time at a Title Company doesn't allow for much playtime. I guess I'll be content with looking out the window at what I could be enjoying :)

While I have thoroughly enjoyed a quieter College Station with less traffic, I am very ready for school to start again (without the school part for me *tear*) so that everyone will be back (aka the Wolfpack). I do not have a clue what I would do without those girls - we can't even spend a few days apart. I swear we cannot spend more than 5 minutes in a room (or on the phone, or via text, or chat) before we are rolling in laughter. And it always seems that at my most selfish moments they know exactly what to say...sometimes accompanied by some form of physical abuse, haha...just to say "Jess, stop taking life so seriously. We are happier in our lives!" I would definitely say we have learned to love and value every minute of our time together and appreciate the simple, chaotically blissful lives we have been so abundantly blessed with!!!

God works in mysterious ways...wow is that an understatement. It seems as if I am constantly being reminded of some tough dates coming in the near future. Then, at just the right moment I get a little wake up call...like completely losing my voice for the first time in my life. It's like for a whole day God just said "Jess, be QUIET. Listen to what I have to say to you and what I am saying to you through those around you." And then I was in bed for the better part of the next day because I just didn't feel good. So once again, "Jess, just be still." And through all of that, I learned a lot about grace and patience. How selfish of me to think I deserve anything in my timing! Especially when God has continually showed me how much greater His plan is than mine...

I am seriously considering going overseas to teach for about a year. I would be working for the Department of Defense teaching on an American military base, which is an adventure I really THINK I want. But how about we leave this one up to God. The last time He definitively told me to wait, I decided to try it on my own. Needless to say that did not work out so well. I think I will listen this time :) So lift up a prayer for me if you think about it!

"Jess, you think that was good? Watch this...."
-God

the. perfect. date.

This should give you a lot of insight into who I am....perfect date? here it is...

"Back up the pickup truck, right up to the lake
Throw a blanket on the tailgate
Listen to the bullfrog
Serenade in the moonlight
In the truck bed dancin' slow
We'll sing along with the radio
Sippin' on Grandma's homemade wine
Livin' the good life

There's a cottonwood tree
With a limb hangin' over
We'll do the cannonball off a rope swing
She can dry her clothes out by the fire
I swear I won't peek
I'll be wishin' that
The night could last forever
As I'm looking into her doe eyes
Ride back home with her head on my shoulder
Can't wait till next time"

it doesn't get better than that...love it :)

little things

During this season, it is easy to experience the joy and pain of the Holidays all at the same time. I just got back from a long drive to North Texas and then back through East Texas, so I have had a lot of time to think...I began observing little things around me to remind myself of how blessed I am.

Fall colors. As I noticed the changing of the leaves, I was reminded that I have ridden the rollercoaster of an interesting season of my life and came through rejoicing! Things change, life goes on, and realizing the purpose of every change has given me unspeakable joy :)

Country. Is what I am...haha. I loved driving and seeing nothing but land and livestock. And once we finally turned on the radio, I was singing classic country songs with my momma and it was priceless!

Laughter. I sat around a table for a couple of hours Friday night doing nothing but laughing about past memories and present events. It was truly a blessing to see my grandparents so alive surrounded by people they love dearly and even hear some new stories.

Service. There are women and men in my life who have always demonstrated selfless service, and it is simply amazing to me. It seems like they are never selfish...maybe that comes with having children. I see the love of Christ exemplified through their simple acts of kindness from a servant's heart. So I have a new goal...at least one act of service out of kindness everyday. I know that it should be natural and happen more than once a day, but I have to build a habit and start somewhere.

Children and Senior Adults. It seems that when our minds are more simple, we appreciate so much more. There was some discussion and question about the Bible, and it was decided there are some things we just aren't meant to understand. I was with little cousins and also at a nursing home this weekend and just observed the simple faith the people in these two stages of life experience just from living life. What a blessing to have simple faith in the Creator of all instead of trying to logically explain and reason out everything...

Song. Music is so powerful, which is probably why I am always posting music lyrics, and my friends and I cannot go anywhere without music. We usually just end up making our own music, haha. I was able to sing old hymns with my grandmother in her room at the nursing home today, and it brought tears to my eyes. There are many things she cannot remember, but the words to "Victory in Jesus" and "Just a Closer Walk with Thee" and many others are forever in her mind. She sang those words flawlessly with a look of utter joy and peace in her eyes that I have not seen in a long time.

Surprises. God has surprised me with some amazing people lately. People I was not necessarily looking for or desiring, but possibly what I need. He seems to be reminding me of the respect and care that I deserve. I am in complete shock that I could be enjoying life this much at this point...enjoying it more than I ever have. One of these people has put so much of life into perspective for me, and particularly pointed out the difference between smiling and smiling with your heart. I think I would have to equate this to the difference between happiness and joy...think about it. You can be either sad or happy, but you can be joyful in happiness and sadness. HUGE difference. "Remember to always be joyful because you never know who is falling in love with your smile" (especially the smile of your heart).

Love. This word is so overused, yet so taken for granted. Only in the past few months have I made some key observations about the different types of love. I admiringly watched some heroes in my life who daily die to themselves for the person they love and never think twice. These couples have a love that exemplifies the love of Christ, and it is blatantly obvious how different the love they share is from the love I thought I had. It is the love that led them to marry their best friend and grows deeper everyday as they draw nearer to their Savior...the love that has kept them together for years. Always surround yourself with people you love and make you feel loved, whether that is family or friends or those who fit both categories ;)


just a few deep thoughts...go watch a cartoon or Disney movie or something now. Happy Thanksgiving and Merry CHRISTmas :)

Why Hello November...

Yes, I am still alive...and breathing...finally.

And I've had a cup of coffee and a large Dr. Pepper...so I am never going to sleep :(

Student teaching is over. I have a mixed emotions about that. I am completely ready for my own classroom, but I miss my kids dearly. I have never seen so many sad faces in my entire life, but I could not have asked for a better experience. It is truly amazing to see a teaching veteran in action, and for her to allow me to take control of her classroom. What a blessing! Now, I firmly believe that student teaching will be the deciding factor of whether you actually want to teach or not. It absolutely solidified my love for teaching, and I would not change my career path for all the money in the world.

College is over. I have mixed emotions about that, as well. I bought my cap and gown today and addressed too many graduation invitations...slightly emotional experience. I hope I can walk the stage with complete composure. I am so proud to be graduating from the best university in the world...I am in love with Texas A&M and with Aggies...

THAT is over. I deserve much better...and I'm a little more country than that. So here is a warning to all those with green tractors ;) --I'm not settling for anything. Take it or leave because I'm not changing for anyone...Christ has created me the way I am (and continues to mold me for the better) and I am FINALLY utterly satistifed and confident in that. Traditional? yes. Country? yes. Savior is first priority? yes. Confident? gradually. And sorry guys, my first love is my Savior...take it or leave it.

So here's to new beginnings. I have the most amazing friends in the world...I have absolutely no idea what I would do without them. God has placed them in my life to exemplify His love for me. I am going to be a teacher! (eventually haha) Something that I have waited for my entire life...praise God for fulfilled dreams. I have met some great people who have restored my faith in people in general (excluding those closest to me)...praise God for Divine appointments...

So there is an update on my life...stay tuned for more :) God bless and goodnight