Ohhhh life...the pace has definitely changed since my move up here to God's country, but I still don't even have time to keep up my blog...
I made a crazy last minute trip to Dallas this weekend to see one of my best friends and have my heart broken by my Aggies once again...so we'll just say it was to see one of my best friends :) In my 14 hours of driving, I had a lot of time to think and reflect. In a couple of weeks, I will be 23 and quite bit has happened in this 23rd year of my life. If I could sum it all up in one word, it would be...
Trust.
What I once thought was true love based on real trust was irreparably damaged by a shaky foundation...so I turned to friends...
I found the sweet trusting relationship of a group of sisters...not by blood, but by choice...
Once again, that trust was damaged in some of those relationships...but some of them are forever...
I forced myself into dating that my heart was not ready for...trust that my heart was not ready for...
So I turned to my family...those four people that love me unconditionally and eternally...those four people that pointed my directly to my heavenly Father...the only one who is fully deserving of my trust...the One who will never fail.
And then when I was ready, He brought someone else into my life...someone who took all of my post-graduation plans, shook them up, and landed me in Dalhart, Texas. But really, he was just a vessel being used by Christ because I know without a doubt this is where God wants me to be. Even on my hardest days of missing family and friends, I know that His purpose for me being here is bigger than my fears and insecurities. I have the love of a real man...a man who has become my best friend...a man who is so trustworthy and deserving of my whole heart. Having realized this, it has become so important that Christ remain the foundation of our relationship as we patiently wait for Him to prepare our hearts for whatever He has for our relationship and each of our lives.
I love Kindergarten. I didn't think I would possibly survive this year...I'm only two months in, but these precious children have stolen my heart. Every day I count my blessings and praise God for the family I was raised in. It has become even more clear that my attitude sets the tone for my classroom...and more than anything I pray that is an attitude of love and service. I pray for my students daily...they are so deserving of every good and perfect gift from God, as they have already been such precious gifts in my life. And here's what being in the will of God will get you:
-Within one week of teaching, the assistant principal passed me and said, "some people just have what it takes and you've got it! you're totally a natural!"
-The technology director met me in passing and just needed to mention that he had heard I was doing an outstanding job.
-My first 10-minute walkthrough observation was two weeks ago by the assistant principal. As she was leaving the room she said, "You make me want to skip the rest. You're fantastic and I know others won't go nearly this well."
-The P.E. coach grabbed me in the hall, "I heard some nasty rumor that you're a first year teacher?! That absolutely cannot be possible..."
-19 out of 19 parents during conferences this week said that their child LOVES coming to school...what more could a teacher ask for?
And none of those things is to my credit...all glory to God because without him I'm not sure I could put up with 19 five-year-olds on a daily basis. It is such an awesome challenge to keep these young children engaged and loving learning...and much less of a challenge for them to keep me entertained! Ha! We're headed to the Pumpkin Patch next week, then it's Red Ribbon Week, Halloween, etc...I think it's safe to assume that my currently hectic life is about to become chaotic.
On the personal life side of things...I've found some great, inspirational women. In fact, they are so inspirational, I've agreed to participate in a half marathon on May 1st in Colorado!!! We've already been training for a little over a month, and so far I love it. But running is not the only time I've enjoyed spending with them...thank God for kind, caring people. My roommate and I are reserved seat season ticket holders for the Dalhart Golden Wolves football team--it's not A&M, but it's football :) So between marathon training, hanging out with the girls, lesson planning, spending time with one amazing guy, being a grown up, driving all over the place just to find Walmart, going to bed at 9:00, and staying in touch with family and friends...life is pretty crazy, but I guess that's the way I prefer it! I'm certainly looking forward to heading home this weekend to some people I love and miss very much...no complaints! God is so good!
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Monday, August 23, 2010
Welcome to Kindergarten
So I'm beyond exhaustion...definitely too tired for this blogging...but I also don't want to have to repeat the stories 900 times. lol...so here it is:
6:00 am...wake up and prepare for the day...beginning on my knees in the presence of my Savior...because more than being a good teacher, I want to be the example of Christ to these children--to show them they are loved by at least one person in this world.
7:15 am...arrive at school and prepare for the day...and my first child shows up at 7:45ish soooo excited for life!
By 8:00, my class was full of 19 5&6 years olds. Our principal wrote a grant for free breakfast every day for the entire school because children cannot learn effectively if they are hungry. Today we had cereal with milk and orange juice...let me clarify, the children were allowed to eat DRY cereal and drink the milk to prevent many messes. HOWEVER...within the first 15 minutes of breakfast, we had 4 bowls of dry cereal spilled all over the floor and 1 juice box...making a pretty sticky mess. We actually accomplished much more than I anticipated! There is an aid in my classroom for the first two days and she insisted that I couldn't possibly be a first year teacher...everything was running much too smoothly, which made me feel very good. It makes things easier when you're doing something you were created to do :)
We had a meet your table-mates session in which each student did a puzzle of a picture of someone at their table...which created mass confusion because they thought the picture was supposed to be of themselves and that I had just really messed up. Then we had a meet the teacher session where each child had a picture of something about me (fav drink-Dr. Pepper, my best friends, my fav book- the Bible, my Dad, my Mom, my sisters, my pets, me in Kindergarten, etc.), which they absolutely loved!...especially knowing that their teacher was in kindergarten once upon a time ;)
Kindergarten is so interesting. They say the most hilarious things ("class lets create some rules for our classroom! give me an example" response: "don't throw rocks in the classroom!!!")...which will be documented throughout this blog...and they are really still babies. I had so many parents describe their child's special "potty dance," which has become high priority during my daily general observation for obvious reason, haha. At 11:15, I went to pick my class up from specials (P.E., music, computers, library) and several of them hugged me and looked at me and SHOUTED..."MISS WALKER!!!! We are sooooo excited to see you!!!" They are just too sweet and have stolen my heart already. One of my favorite things??? NOBODY is too cool for anything in Kindergarten. Their favorite part of the day was singing and dancing with me to a four line song about how we get to school! They probably would have done the song 800 times if I'd let them...it's the little things.
I just knew the morning went way too smoothly. We was about 15 minutes late to lunch because we were so engaged in learning...and because Miss Walker looked at the wrong lunch time :) Then, the school blew a transformer, so electricity went out all over the building. Meanwhile, the teacher's aid in my classroom was on the verge of losing conciousness from diabetic shock. I had no juice or candy in the room (which didn't even occur to me anyway until another teacher said it), so I was frantically running around the classrooms...great. And then I went back to teaching.
My students are precious. Their moods change at the drop of a hat and they will do ANYTHING to please the teacher. Every student demanded that I see every picture and paper that they completed. I have a couple of "energetic" ones...one who would probably walk backwards everywhere if I let him, one who insists on not listening and then telling me that he IS listening after I've asked for his attention for the third time, and a couple of very social butterflies...but I just adore every single one of them. When they get to go to the group carpet, it usually becomes a little chaotic, so I decided to create a masking tape grid so that every student would have a certain "spot" tomorrow...if necessary (or legal or socially acceptable) I would have a shock collar or hot wire fence grid because I think that would be very effective, hahaha---very much just kidding. And by the end of the day I learned they all have their trying side...I have cute name plates on their desks that were pretty pricey, so I had them laminated to be reusable. Each students name was written on them this morning, and as a I walked around this afternoon, not one name was one them...they wiped every single one off...hilarious. NOT. So I rewrote and TAPED over them. We'll see how they creatively undo that tomorrow.
So I left day one (at 6 pm) with:
green paint on my dress pants
a sore hand from class high fives gone wrong
heavy eyelids
sore feet
a semi-sore throat
"The first child gets to ride the bus" (to the tune of Mary Had a Little Lamb) stuck in my head
a new knowledge for taking care of people with diabetes
a new appreciation for air conditioning
"lunch is at 11:30, not 12:10" engraved on my mind
a hatred for tying shoelaces
a new appreciation for parents
19 new loves in my life :)
time for bed...seriously...more to come
6:00 am...wake up and prepare for the day...beginning on my knees in the presence of my Savior...because more than being a good teacher, I want to be the example of Christ to these children--to show them they are loved by at least one person in this world.
7:15 am...arrive at school and prepare for the day...and my first child shows up at 7:45ish soooo excited for life!
By 8:00, my class was full of 19 5&6 years olds. Our principal wrote a grant for free breakfast every day for the entire school because children cannot learn effectively if they are hungry. Today we had cereal with milk and orange juice...let me clarify, the children were allowed to eat DRY cereal and drink the milk to prevent many messes. HOWEVER...within the first 15 minutes of breakfast, we had 4 bowls of dry cereal spilled all over the floor and 1 juice box...making a pretty sticky mess. We actually accomplished much more than I anticipated! There is an aid in my classroom for the first two days and she insisted that I couldn't possibly be a first year teacher...everything was running much too smoothly, which made me feel very good. It makes things easier when you're doing something you were created to do :)
We had a meet your table-mates session in which each student did a puzzle of a picture of someone at their table...which created mass confusion because they thought the picture was supposed to be of themselves and that I had just really messed up. Then we had a meet the teacher session where each child had a picture of something about me (fav drink-Dr. Pepper, my best friends, my fav book- the Bible, my Dad, my Mom, my sisters, my pets, me in Kindergarten, etc.), which they absolutely loved!...especially knowing that their teacher was in kindergarten once upon a time ;)
Kindergarten is so interesting. They say the most hilarious things ("class lets create some rules for our classroom! give me an example" response: "don't throw rocks in the classroom!!!")...which will be documented throughout this blog...and they are really still babies. I had so many parents describe their child's special "potty dance," which has become high priority during my daily general observation for obvious reason, haha. At 11:15, I went to pick my class up from specials (P.E., music, computers, library) and several of them hugged me and looked at me and SHOUTED..."MISS WALKER!!!! We are sooooo excited to see you!!!" They are just too sweet and have stolen my heart already. One of my favorite things??? NOBODY is too cool for anything in Kindergarten. Their favorite part of the day was singing and dancing with me to a four line song about how we get to school! They probably would have done the song 800 times if I'd let them...it's the little things.
I just knew the morning went way too smoothly. We was about 15 minutes late to lunch because we were so engaged in learning...and because Miss Walker looked at the wrong lunch time :) Then, the school blew a transformer, so electricity went out all over the building. Meanwhile, the teacher's aid in my classroom was on the verge of losing conciousness from diabetic shock. I had no juice or candy in the room (which didn't even occur to me anyway until another teacher said it), so I was frantically running around the classrooms...great. And then I went back to teaching.
My students are precious. Their moods change at the drop of a hat and they will do ANYTHING to please the teacher. Every student demanded that I see every picture and paper that they completed. I have a couple of "energetic" ones...one who would probably walk backwards everywhere if I let him, one who insists on not listening and then telling me that he IS listening after I've asked for his attention for the third time, and a couple of very social butterflies...but I just adore every single one of them. When they get to go to the group carpet, it usually becomes a little chaotic, so I decided to create a masking tape grid so that every student would have a certain "spot" tomorrow...if necessary (or legal or socially acceptable) I would have a shock collar or hot wire fence grid because I think that would be very effective, hahaha---very much just kidding. And by the end of the day I learned they all have their trying side...I have cute name plates on their desks that were pretty pricey, so I had them laminated to be reusable. Each students name was written on them this morning, and as a I walked around this afternoon, not one name was one them...they wiped every single one off...hilarious. NOT. So I rewrote and TAPED over them. We'll see how they creatively undo that tomorrow.
So I left day one (at 6 pm) with:
green paint on my dress pants
a sore hand from class high fives gone wrong
heavy eyelids
sore feet
a semi-sore throat
"The first child gets to ride the bus" (to the tune of Mary Had a Little Lamb) stuck in my head
a new knowledge for taking care of people with diabetes
a new appreciation for air conditioning
"lunch is at 11:30, not 12:10" engraved on my mind
a hatred for tying shoelaces
a new appreciation for parents
19 new loves in my life :)
time for bed...seriously...more to come
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
The Bucket List
That's right, it's time. I'm about to head out on my own and there are just a few things I'd like to accomplish...
(in no particular order)
1. teach
2. learn to play guitar
3. sing karaoke
4. go skydiving
5. learn to ski
6. go on a cooking vacation/take gourmet cooking classes
7. go on a cruise
8. volunteer in an orphanage
9. get married
10. have children
11. go scuba diving
12. learn to drive a stick shift
13. read the entire Bible
14. go deep sea fishing
15. go parasailing
16. swim with dolphins
17. run a half marathon/marathon
18. be a mentor to someone
19. wine tasting
20. own a horse
21. see a waterfall
22. go on a picnic
23. visit a castle
24. visit a brewery
25. visit another country
26. go horsebacking riding on a beach
27. visit a famous art gallery/museum
28. ride a mechanical bull
29. have a garden
30. have a carefree, tropical vacation
31. become an early riser
32. stop worrying about things beyond my control
33. donate blood....lol
34. create something
35. own a home...with a huge bathtub :)
36. make at least one person smile every day
37. see a Broadway play
38. have a wraparound porch
39. own a boat
40. go to a drive in movie
41. fix up an old house
42. learn to ride a dirt bike
...and after doing that, I feel like I haven't lived, haha. But there are things I have already done that would have made it on the list...so I'll just consider them accomplished :)
(in no particular order)
1. teach
2. learn to play guitar
3. sing karaoke
4. go skydiving
5. learn to ski
6. go on a cooking vacation/take gourmet cooking classes
7. go on a cruise
8. volunteer in an orphanage
9. get married
10. have children
11. go scuba diving
12. learn to drive a stick shift
13. read the entire Bible
14. go deep sea fishing
15. go parasailing
16. swim with dolphins
17. run a half marathon/marathon
18. be a mentor to someone
19. wine tasting
20. own a horse
21. see a waterfall
22. go on a picnic
23. visit a castle
24. visit a brewery
25. visit another country
26. go horsebacking riding on a beach
27. visit a famous art gallery/museum
28. ride a mechanical bull
29. have a garden
30. have a carefree, tropical vacation
31. become an early riser
32. stop worrying about things beyond my control
33. donate blood....lol
34. create something
35. own a home...with a huge bathtub :)
36. make at least one person smile every day
37. see a Broadway play
38. have a wraparound porch
39. own a boat
40. go to a drive in movie
41. fix up an old house
42. learn to ride a dirt bike
well that's a pretty good start..and of course...may God be glorified in and through every single one of those things...
...and after doing that, I feel like I haven't lived, haha. But there are things I have already done that would have made it on the list...so I'll just consider them accomplished :)
Monday, June 21, 2010
It's a beautiful thing...
It's a beautiful thing when you are drawing nearer to Christ, and He reveals more of Himself to you.
I'm reading a book right now called "Teach Like Your Hair's On Fire" by Rafe Esquith who is a nationally recognized teacher. He loves kids...period. He talks with his 5th graders about Kohlberg's Stages of Moral Development. I began to think about how to best relay this information to my students, but decided I first needed to evaluate it in my own life...
1) Pre-conventional - begins with how to avoid punishment and ends with selfish ambition.
2) Conventional - begins with social norms (the good boy/girl attitude) and ends with motivation from a "maintain law and order" mentality
3) Post-conventional - begins with recognizing individuality in the world apart from "socially accepted" ideas and ends with principles of conscience motivated by abstract, deep ideas such as...love.
So on to another example...Most serious relationship #1: I absolutely love to serve...it's the action I use to communicate love. I would cook for him, help him clean, assist in sending resumes for jobs, send gifts, etc...too many things to list. At first I expected things in return...maybe he'll send me flowers to work? maybe he wouldn't mind helping me with a particular task? and so on....Pre-Conventional. After about a year and a half, I continued doing these things out of love, but mostly to show that I was such a great girlfriend...and would obviously make a great wife, haha. I never really made it out of this Conventional stage. And that continued through the next serious of dates/relationships (probably a lot of the reason they failed)...until recently. The Post-Conventional stage has hit me unexpectedly....I still do these things, but solely out of love for him, expecting not one thing in return. It's a wonderful, peaceful change of heart.
And then there's my Savior...I think when we are young, most people tend to be "scared" into accepting Jesus Christ as their Savior simply to escape hell (punishment), or expecting an easy life filled with blessings in return for our devotion. Pre-Conventional. As they draw nearer to Christ and realize the influence on non-Christians around them, they start to live as Christ asks to be seen as a "good Christian" or to maintain the respect of other Christians. Conventional. As you further mature in your walk with Christ, you move into the Post-Conventional stage. I am completely assured in my salvation because of my own salvation experience and the multitude of scriptures declaring this promise...but this security doesn't change the way I live my life. I live the way I do out of love and gratitude for my Savior and His sacrifice, striving to be more like Him. I know where I will be when I die, but I hope my road to that destination shows others the way also....
I have learned that life is more than following rules simply because they were "established to be followed." Some legalistic ideologies I have let go of because Christ has revealed to me that loving sinners like myself is sometimes more important. Other "rules," I have renamed "standards" in my own life," such as adhering to True Love Waits, because I know that God is and will be glorified through that. It is a fine line between being above reproach and approachable...but more than anything He has called us to love. He has called us to turn over our most prized possessions out of love for Him...for me that's the ultimate love relationship He creates for us here on Earth.
I'm simultaneously reading a book called "When God Writes Your Love Story" by Eric & Leslie Ludy. It's about giving God this phenomenally important and stressful area of your life...what HE desires for the love relationship based in Him. Funny thing is, I tried reading this book about 2 years ago in the midst of another relationship (those of you who have been around me that long can fill in the blanks, haha), and although I'm ashamed to say it, stopped reading it because I felt convicted. This time around it's confirming so many of my feelings and thoughts...interesting...
So as I've moved into the Post-Conventional understanding of love...jealousy, being easily angered, insecurity, selfishness?...no thanks. Here's to a love that says "quit comparing yourself to others, (just like my Daddy always told me ;) I choose YOU. I want to grow old with YOU." Sound similar to the knowledge that Christ chose to die for YOU?! Here's to realizing love may not always be returned in the way you expect it, but instead in the way you need it...what if Christ decided He didn't love us because we weren't returning His love the way He expects us to? Here's to realizing what love is before you can see what it was not....to falling in love with my sweet Jesus....to letting Him show me how to fall in love.....
if it seems like that blog was all over the place, read it again...I promise it's all intertwined :)
I'm reading a book right now called "Teach Like Your Hair's On Fire" by Rafe Esquith who is a nationally recognized teacher. He loves kids...period. He talks with his 5th graders about Kohlberg's Stages of Moral Development. I began to think about how to best relay this information to my students, but decided I first needed to evaluate it in my own life...
1) Pre-conventional - begins with how to avoid punishment and ends with selfish ambition.
***Chores. An absolute dreaded part of everyday life when you were younger, right? Probably 90% of the motivation for any cooking or cleaning I did for the first 18 years of my life was one of two things: I feared the consequences of NOT doing them, or I wanted something in return.
2) Conventional - begins with social norms (the good boy/girl attitude) and ends with motivation from a "maintain law and order" mentality
***Then there were the times my parents would go on a date, and I would get the bright idea to clean the kitchen. When they came home, I was usually standing in the spotless kitchen with a huge smile on my face expecting a wonderful reaction. This was another motivation stemming from wanting to please my parents by being a good daughter.
3) Post-conventional - begins with recognizing individuality in the world apart from "socially accepted" ideas and ends with principles of conscience motivated by abstract, deep ideas such as...love.
***As I aged, I began to pull my own weight out of sheer love for my parents...the desire to make their lives a little easier...and the guilt associated with not doing my part. It didn't matter anymore whether they noticed; it was simply one less thing to cause them stress.
So on to another example...Most serious relationship #1: I absolutely love to serve...it's the action I use to communicate love. I would cook for him, help him clean, assist in sending resumes for jobs, send gifts, etc...too many things to list. At first I expected things in return...maybe he'll send me flowers to work? maybe he wouldn't mind helping me with a particular task? and so on....Pre-Conventional. After about a year and a half, I continued doing these things out of love, but mostly to show that I was such a great girlfriend...and would obviously make a great wife, haha. I never really made it out of this Conventional stage. And that continued through the next serious of dates/relationships (probably a lot of the reason they failed)...until recently. The Post-Conventional stage has hit me unexpectedly....I still do these things, but solely out of love for him, expecting not one thing in return. It's a wonderful, peaceful change of heart.
And then there's my Savior...I think when we are young, most people tend to be "scared" into accepting Jesus Christ as their Savior simply to escape hell (punishment), or expecting an easy life filled with blessings in return for our devotion. Pre-Conventional. As they draw nearer to Christ and realize the influence on non-Christians around them, they start to live as Christ asks to be seen as a "good Christian" or to maintain the respect of other Christians. Conventional. As you further mature in your walk with Christ, you move into the Post-Conventional stage. I am completely assured in my salvation because of my own salvation experience and the multitude of scriptures declaring this promise...but this security doesn't change the way I live my life. I live the way I do out of love and gratitude for my Savior and His sacrifice, striving to be more like Him. I know where I will be when I die, but I hope my road to that destination shows others the way also....
I have learned that life is more than following rules simply because they were "established to be followed." Some legalistic ideologies I have let go of because Christ has revealed to me that loving sinners like myself is sometimes more important. Other "rules," I have renamed "standards" in my own life," such as adhering to True Love Waits, because I know that God is and will be glorified through that. It is a fine line between being above reproach and approachable...but more than anything He has called us to love. He has called us to turn over our most prized possessions out of love for Him...for me that's the ultimate love relationship He creates for us here on Earth.
I'm simultaneously reading a book called "When God Writes Your Love Story" by Eric & Leslie Ludy. It's about giving God this phenomenally important and stressful area of your life...what HE desires for the love relationship based in Him. Funny thing is, I tried reading this book about 2 years ago in the midst of another relationship (those of you who have been around me that long can fill in the blanks, haha), and although I'm ashamed to say it, stopped reading it because I felt convicted. This time around it's confirming so many of my feelings and thoughts...interesting...
So as I've moved into the Post-Conventional understanding of love...jealousy, being easily angered, insecurity, selfishness?...no thanks. Here's to a love that says "quit comparing yourself to others, (just like my Daddy always told me ;) I choose YOU. I want to grow old with YOU." Sound similar to the knowledge that Christ chose to die for YOU?! Here's to realizing love may not always be returned in the way you expect it, but instead in the way you need it...what if Christ decided He didn't love us because we weren't returning His love the way He expects us to? Here's to realizing what love is before you can see what it was not....to falling in love with my sweet Jesus....to letting Him show me how to fall in love.....
if it seems like that blog was all over the place, read it again...I promise it's all intertwined :)
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
The First Man I Ever Loved...
...the first man I gave my heart to...the one who guided my heart to my Heavenly Father..
My Daddy's hands ...there's nothing quite like them.
Those hands have given me toys, food, gifts, basketballs, show halters, medicine, tools, academic awards, "scholarships from the Bank of Dad," my High School Diploma...and scripture. All my life I have admiringly looked at his Aggie Ring...those hands put my Aggie ring on my finger and turned it to face the world after graduation.
His hands have taught me to clean, to build, to shoot hoops, to bat, to cook, to lift and carry through several moves, to cast a line, to shoot a gun, to drive...
to turn the pages of a book, to write, to pray, to protect, and to console.
Those hands held me at birth and through a few concussions and trips to the ER, congratulated me through graduations and achievements, laid on me while I asked Jesus into my heart, and enveloped me through a breaking heart.
But the hands are the observable workings of the heart....
integrity, loyalty, wisdom, perseverance, strong work ethic, wit, patience, respect, and love
...qualities woven into his very nature
...a reflection of the image of Christ.
Even to this day, he has continually reminded me, "never compare yourself to anyone. You'll lose every time." These words meant nothing when I was younger, but as we all know, as we age our parents become more wise ;) These words have been foundational to the woman I have become, specifically my individuality and determination.
As my earthly father, what an amazing glimpse at what my Heavenly Father is like!
He is country and a cowboy to the core...from ranch manager to serving public education for nearly 30 years, he knows what hard work is and always serves whole-heartedly. He is a man of few words, but always important words, with a smile and sense of humor that are infectious.
Son and Brother
My mom has always told me to observe how the men that I date treat their mothers and to know that reflects how he will treat me...which I've learned to be very true. I have watched my dad's interaction as a son and brother and pray that I will be able to raise children with that magnitude of respect.
Husband
As a husband, he loves my mom unconditionally...and has set an example of a marriage relationship firmly grounded in Christ ...an example that I will wait for in the man God has for me.
Father
As a father, he loves unconditionally, teaching unwavering principles through discipline and by example through his every word and action. He is there to calm the emotions of three daughters with amazing words of advice.
Man of God
As a man of God, his perseverance is astounding. His faithfulness in service through the Church (from youth sponsor, to sound man, to choir member, to Sunday School teacher, to committee member) and through prayer is remarkable. He has faced more persecution that any one man should have to...all without hesitation in the name of Christ.
"Surely he will never be shaken; a righteous man will be remembered forever."
-Psalm 112:6
to my hero, my protector, the Spiritual leader of his household, my confidante, my advisor...my Daddy...Happy Father's Day, now and always...
Monday, June 14, 2010
“I don’t trust happiness… Never did, and never will.”
That isn't a quote from yours truely either...I've trusted and relied on happiness too many times...
And until you've experienced the difference, this may not make much sense...
If you "google it," you will find many quotes about happiness - that wonderful warm, fuzzy feeling we all hope to find. It comes from winning a game, having a crush, being complimented, and so many other pleasant moments. It lasts for a few minutes, or maybe even a few days, and then is gone the moment something bad or unpleasant happens....it is so temporary...
Joy is one of the fruits of the Spirit! I don't see "happiness" listed in there anywhere because the fruits of the Spirit are just that, OF THE SPIRIT....they are of Christ who is forever, so they are forever. Joy is experiencing God, it's a radiant smile through streams of tears, it's surviving a heartache knowing there's something better in store, it's rejoicing that a loved one is no longer in pain but rather in the prescence of the King of Kings...it's present even when that warm, fuzzy feeling is gone...and it lasts forever...
Society tells us to "be happy."
Christ tells us to "rejoice."
Look at the dictionary's listings about the feeling of happiness:
1. delighted, pleased, or glad, as over a particular thing: to be happy to see a person.
2. characterized by or indicative of pleasure or contentment; a happy mood; a happy frame of mind.
3. favored by fortune; fortunate or lucky: a happy, fruitful land.
4. apt or felicitous, as actions, utterances, or ideas.
5. obsessed by or quick to use the item indicated (usually used in combination): a trigger-happy gangster. Everybody is gadget-happy these days.
What stood out in these definitions? Happiness is fleeting. We feel it about some certain thing or person. But these moods and feelings that we experience change often...they are much too unreliable...
Joy is Biblical.
Three of my favorites:
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds,
"Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory"
—1 Peter 1:8
I found a few synonyms for joy :
Humor.
Mirth.
So look at the things and people that you "love"...if you can't experience joy through the moments that the warm fuzzies aren't present...you may not know my Jesus. He is the only One that brings true joy. And if you do know Him and still aren't experiencing joy in these moments...you might need to re-evaluate whether those "loves" are worth every other temporary feeling that accompany them...
So I'd choose joy over happiness any day.
All credit for those thoughts goes to my Savior...He lays it on my heart, so I write. And I'm no expert, but experience is a pretty good teacher. :)
Happy Monday? blah. Experience Joy on this Monday!
And until you've experienced the difference, this may not make much sense...
If you "google it," you will find many quotes about happiness - that wonderful warm, fuzzy feeling we all hope to find. It comes from winning a game, having a crush, being complimented, and so many other pleasant moments. It lasts for a few minutes, or maybe even a few days, and then is gone the moment something bad or unpleasant happens....it is so temporary...
Joy is one of the fruits of the Spirit! I don't see "happiness" listed in there anywhere because the fruits of the Spirit are just that, OF THE SPIRIT....they are of Christ who is forever, so they are forever. Joy is experiencing God, it's a radiant smile through streams of tears, it's surviving a heartache knowing there's something better in store, it's rejoicing that a loved one is no longer in pain but rather in the prescence of the King of Kings...it's present even when that warm, fuzzy feeling is gone...and it lasts forever...
Society tells us to "be happy."
Christ tells us to "rejoice."
Look at the dictionary's listings about the feeling of happiness:
1. delighted, pleased, or glad, as over a particular thing: to be happy to see a person.
2. characterized by or indicative of pleasure or contentment; a happy mood; a happy frame of mind.
3. favored by fortune; fortunate or lucky: a happy, fruitful land.
4. apt or felicitous, as actions, utterances, or ideas.
5. obsessed by or quick to use the item indicated (usually used in combination): a trigger-happy gangster. Everybody is gadget-happy these days.
What stood out in these definitions? Happiness is fleeting. We feel it about some certain thing or person. But these moods and feelings that we experience change often...they are much too unreliable...
Joy is Biblical.
Three of my favorites:
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds,
-James 1:2
"These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full."
—John 15:11
—John 15:11
"Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory"
—1 Peter 1:8
I found a few synonyms for joy :
Humor.
If you have lived, you have (hopefully) learned to find humor in situations.
It's constant.
Treasure.Treasure is not fortune. Treasure is something close to your heart...
"For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also" -Luke 12:34
Mirth.
It's the ability to enjoy life and to celebrate.
If you haven't learned this as a part of your every day,
you're missing life in general.
Now follow me on this...God is love. Joy is of God. Therefore, the truest, purest Love brings ultimate Joy. So once again, this is of God and things of God.
Those fleeting moments of warm fuzzies are not Love....or Love that is meant to last anyway.
So look at the things and people that you "love"...if you can't experience joy through the moments that the warm fuzzies aren't present...you may not know my Jesus. He is the only One that brings true joy. And if you do know Him and still aren't experiencing joy in these moments...you might need to re-evaluate whether those "loves" are worth every other temporary feeling that accompany them...
So I'd choose joy over happiness any day.
All credit for those thoughts goes to my Savior...He lays it on my heart, so I write. And I'm no expert, but experience is a pretty good teacher. :)
Happy Monday? blah. Experience Joy on this Monday!
Friday, May 21, 2010
1446.17 miles later...
Did I mention those 1446.17 miles were covered in 2.5 days????
College Station--> Abilene--> Seminole--> Amarillo-->Hereford--> Dalhart--> Alvardo--> College Station.
...5 interviews and approximately 25 hours of driving later...I HAVE A JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But before all that important stuff, here are some interesting lessons I learned:
-Texas is big...HUGE actually.
- the world is not awake at 5:15 am, therefore Jessica cannot get Dr. Pepper to be awake either.
-who needs trees when you have wind turbines?
-"west Texas" is synonymous with "nothing"
-you should have stopped at that last gas station because apparently people in west Texas do not need a lot of gas, so there will not be another one for 100 miles
-you could pass 6 cars at a time on a west Texas highway, if there were 6 cars in the whole region
-the sky is significantly larger up there
-wind turbines are hypnotizing
-these people spend more money on a courthouse than on the whole rest of the town
-Hereford, TX smells like cows...a lot...makes sense
-yes, the sunset/sunrise is gorgeous, but if you stare at it you will have to pull over and let your eyes recover
-if you are not driving a work truck or an 18-wheeler, you are obviously out of place
-driving 1.5 hours between two towns is normal...and feels like 5 hours.
-if I am ever again in Clarendon, TX, I will be staying at the "It'll Do Motel" after dinner at the "Nuttin' Fancy Cafe"
-44 ounces of Dr. Pepper makes your bladder feel like it's going to explode
-you probably cannot stop at Ft. Hood to use their restrooms even if your taxes pay for them
-singing and dancing to loud music in your car (completely making a fool of yourself) is pretty much the only way to survive 25 hours of driving
-watching a thunderstorm in that much sky is a little scarier, yet beautiful all at the same time
-I hate driving.
-cows and more cows.
-If you walk into small town Texas in a business suit where regulars are having coffee in the morning, you're probably going to hear a couple of comments. haha.
-I love kids...ALL kids. Everytime I interviewed and had a glimpse of the kids in the school, I just fell in love..they are so precious.
-There are people in the school business for the right reasons, and people in it for the wrong reasons. It's blatantly obvious who would be great to work for and who would not...
-Being an Aggie and living all over the state of Texas have proved very helpful in this job hunt. While waiting for one interview, I introduced myself to the elementary counselor who is the aunt of one of my best friends from junior high. A few seconds later, the wife of my junior high Youth Director walked through the office and recognized me! After mentioning this to the principal I was interviewing with, I find out that he is the recent father-in-law of one of my good friends from the same town!!! God is good!
-I called my mom overwhelmingly blessed by my Savior. In the course of that afternoon I lined up two more interviews...all just happened to be in the Pandhandle and none of them interfered with the others...and then read the daily Bible verse on my phone...
So while it's not my ideal position...it's where I want to be. And maybe that position is where God wants me! There are possible 3rd and 2nd grade positions that I was told I could choose from if they become available, so who knows. I am just beyond thrilled to have signed a contract as a teacher...I've been waiting 22 years for this!!! It's going to be a looooong summer, haha.
Since finding out I got the job, the number 1 most annoying question I've been asked..."Why in the world Dalhart?!" Why not Dalhart??? Yes, it's 10 hours from my family and friends, but there are these things called airplanes...and they have them in Amarillo. Yes, the landscape and weather are a little different from anywhere else I've lived in Texas, but change is good. Yes, I know probably three people in the entire Pandhandle, but I've lived in several places and never have trouble building relationships. Yes, Dalhart happens to be about 15 minutes from a very important man in my life, so look at my past and call me crazy, but sometimes it's too risky not to take the chance. It's a one year contract...at the end of a year if it all falls apart...count my losses and gains. I will have loved, gained a year of teaching experience, new friends, and lived in a new and different part of my beloved state. And if you are taking the result of my past serious relationship into account, you should definitely realize this is not a decision I have taken lightly in any way. Those who know me best should know I have spent plenty of time on my knees seeking only the will of God...everything happened to fall into place and I don't believe in coincidences...
“I want you to stop planning—stop wishing—
College Station--> Abilene--> Seminole--> Amarillo-->Hereford--> Dalhart--> Alvardo--> College Station.
...5 interviews and approximately 25 hours of driving later...I HAVE A JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But before all that important stuff, here are some interesting lessons I learned:
-Texas is big...HUGE actually.
- the world is not awake at 5:15 am, therefore Jessica cannot get Dr. Pepper to be awake either.
-who needs trees when you have wind turbines?
-"west Texas" is synonymous with "nothing"
-you should have stopped at that last gas station because apparently people in west Texas do not need a lot of gas, so there will not be another one for 100 miles
-you could pass 6 cars at a time on a west Texas highway, if there were 6 cars in the whole region
-the sky is significantly larger up there
-wind turbines are hypnotizing
-these people spend more money on a courthouse than on the whole rest of the town
-Hereford, TX smells like cows...a lot...makes sense
-yes, the sunset/sunrise is gorgeous, but if you stare at it you will have to pull over and let your eyes recover
-if you are not driving a work truck or an 18-wheeler, you are obviously out of place
-driving 1.5 hours between two towns is normal...and feels like 5 hours.
-if I am ever again in Clarendon, TX, I will be staying at the "It'll Do Motel" after dinner at the "Nuttin' Fancy Cafe"
-44 ounces of Dr. Pepper makes your bladder feel like it's going to explode
-you probably cannot stop at Ft. Hood to use their restrooms even if your taxes pay for them
-singing and dancing to loud music in your car (completely making a fool of yourself) is pretty much the only way to survive 25 hours of driving
-watching a thunderstorm in that much sky is a little scarier, yet beautiful all at the same time
-I hate driving.
-cows and more cows.
-If you walk into small town Texas in a business suit where regulars are having coffee in the morning, you're probably going to hear a couple of comments. haha.
-I love kids...ALL kids. Everytime I interviewed and had a glimpse of the kids in the school, I just fell in love..they are so precious.
-There are people in the school business for the right reasons, and people in it for the wrong reasons. It's blatantly obvious who would be great to work for and who would not...
-Being an Aggie and living all over the state of Texas have proved very helpful in this job hunt. While waiting for one interview, I introduced myself to the elementary counselor who is the aunt of one of my best friends from junior high. A few seconds later, the wife of my junior high Youth Director walked through the office and recognized me! After mentioning this to the principal I was interviewing with, I find out that he is the recent father-in-law of one of my good friends from the same town!!! God is good!
-I called my mom overwhelmingly blessed by my Savior. In the course of that afternoon I lined up two more interviews...all just happened to be in the Pandhandle and none of them interfered with the others...and then read the daily Bible verse on my phone...
"So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or
‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans
run after all these things, and your heavenly Father
run after all these things, and your heavenly Father
knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom
and his righteousness, and all these things will be
given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow,
for tomorrow will worry about itself.
Each day has enough trouble of its own."
-Matt. 6:31-34
...and then I burst into tears of joy...wow! what a wake-up call...
-I have applied, interviewed, and traveled all over the state in theis job hunt. When you're within the will of God, you know it....I walked out of the interview at Dalhart Elementary (with a panel of 10 INTERVIEWERS!!!!) knowing in my heart they would offer me a job....also knowing it would be an ESL position. And the next day? a job offer from Dalhart for an ESL position...hm. :)
So while it's not my ideal position...it's where I want to be. And maybe that position is where God wants me! There are possible 3rd and 2nd grade positions that I was told I could choose from if they become available, so who knows. I am just beyond thrilled to have signed a contract as a teacher...I've been waiting 22 years for this!!! It's going to be a looooong summer, haha.
Since finding out I got the job, the number 1 most annoying question I've been asked..."Why in the world Dalhart?!" Why not Dalhart??? Yes, it's 10 hours from my family and friends, but there are these things called airplanes...and they have them in Amarillo. Yes, the landscape and weather are a little different from anywhere else I've lived in Texas, but change is good. Yes, I know probably three people in the entire Pandhandle, but I've lived in several places and never have trouble building relationships. Yes, Dalhart happens to be about 15 minutes from a very important man in my life, so look at my past and call me crazy, but sometimes it's too risky not to take the chance. It's a one year contract...at the end of a year if it all falls apart...count my losses and gains. I will have loved, gained a year of teaching experience, new friends, and lived in a new and different part of my beloved state. And if you are taking the result of my past serious relationship into account, you should definitely realize this is not a decision I have taken lightly in any way. Those who know me best should know I have spent plenty of time on my knees seeking only the will of God...everything happened to fall into place and I don't believe in coincidences...
So no, I am not moving for him. I am moving for God.
“I want you to stop planning—stop wishing—
and allow Me to give you the most thrilling,
exciting plan you can imagine!!! I want you to have the best!
Please allow Me to give it to you.
You must keep watching Me, expecting the greatest things.
Keep experiencing the satisfaction that I am!
Keep listening and learning the things that I tell you.
And then, when you are ready,
I’ll surprise you with a love far more wonderful
than anyone would ever dream of.
“Know that I love you utterly.
I am God. Believe and be satisfied.”
and love like crazy...
Keep me in your prayers...I still have to find a place to live and enter into the real world...which should be pretty entertaining, so keep reading :) HAPPY FRIDAY!!!!
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