...is what I need right now. And actually I would just love to go play outside because it is absolutely GORGEOUS! However, apparently I am an adult now and working full time at a Title Company doesn't allow for much playtime. I guess I'll be content with looking out the window at what I could be enjoying :)
While I have thoroughly enjoyed a quieter College Station with less traffic, I am very ready for school to start again (without the school part for me *tear*) so that everyone will be back (aka the Wolfpack). I do not have a clue what I would do without those girls - we can't even spend a few days apart. I swear we cannot spend more than 5 minutes in a room (or on the phone, or via text, or chat) before we are rolling in laughter. And it always seems that at my most selfish moments they know exactly what to say...sometimes accompanied by some form of physical abuse, haha...just to say "Jess, stop taking life so seriously. We are happier in our lives!" I would definitely say we have learned to love and value every minute of our time together and appreciate the simple, chaotically blissful lives we have been so abundantly blessed with!!!
God works in mysterious ways...wow is that an understatement. It seems as if I am constantly being reminded of some tough dates coming in the near future. Then, at just the right moment I get a little wake up call...like completely losing my voice for the first time in my life. It's like for a whole day God just said "Jess, be QUIET. Listen to what I have to say to you and what I am saying to you through those around you." And then I was in bed for the better part of the next day because I just didn't feel good. So once again, "Jess, just be still." And through all of that, I learned a lot about grace and patience. How selfish of me to think I deserve anything in my timing! Especially when God has continually showed me how much greater His plan is than mine...
I am seriously considering going overseas to teach for about a year. I would be working for the Department of Defense teaching on an American military base, which is an adventure I really THINK I want. But how about we leave this one up to God. The last time He definitively told me to wait, I decided to try it on my own. Needless to say that did not work out so well. I think I will listen this time :) So lift up a prayer for me if you think about it!
"Jess, you think that was good? Watch this...."
-God
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
the. perfect. date.
This should give you a lot of insight into who I am....perfect date? here it is...
"Back up the pickup truck, right up to the lake
Throw a blanket on the tailgate
Listen to the bullfrog
Serenade in the moonlight
In the truck bed dancin' slow
We'll sing along with the radio
Sippin' on Grandma's homemade wine
Livin' the good life
There's a cottonwood tree
With a limb hangin' over
We'll do the cannonball off a rope swing
She can dry her clothes out by the fire
I swear I won't peek
I'll be wishin' that
The night could last forever
As I'm looking into her doe eyes
Ride back home with her head on my shoulder
Can't wait till next time"
it doesn't get better than that...love it :)
"Back up the pickup truck, right up to the lake
Throw a blanket on the tailgate
Listen to the bullfrog
Serenade in the moonlight
In the truck bed dancin' slow
We'll sing along with the radio
Sippin' on Grandma's homemade wine
Livin' the good life
There's a cottonwood tree
With a limb hangin' over
We'll do the cannonball off a rope swing
She can dry her clothes out by the fire
I swear I won't peek
I'll be wishin' that
The night could last forever
As I'm looking into her doe eyes
Ride back home with her head on my shoulder
Can't wait till next time"
it doesn't get better than that...love it :)
Saturday, November 28, 2009
little things
During this season, it is easy to experience the joy and pain of the Holidays all at the same time. I just got back from a long drive to North Texas and then back through East Texas, so I have had a lot of time to think...I began observing little things around me to remind myself of how blessed I am.
Fall colors. As I noticed the changing of the leaves, I was reminded that I have ridden the rollercoaster of an interesting season of my life and came through rejoicing! Things change, life goes on, and realizing the purpose of every change has given me unspeakable joy :)
Country. Is what I am...haha. I loved driving and seeing nothing but land and livestock. And once we finally turned on the radio, I was singing classic country songs with my momma and it was priceless!
Laughter. I sat around a table for a couple of hours Friday night doing nothing but laughing about past memories and present events. It was truly a blessing to see my grandparents so alive surrounded by people they love dearly and even hear some new stories.
Service. There are women and men in my life who have always demonstrated selfless service, and it is simply amazing to me. It seems like they are never selfish...maybe that comes with having children. I see the love of Christ exemplified through their simple acts of kindness from a servant's heart. So I have a new goal...at least one act of service out of kindness everyday. I know that it should be natural and happen more than once a day, but I have to build a habit and start somewhere.
Children and Senior Adults. It seems that when our minds are more simple, we appreciate so much more. There was some discussion and question about the Bible, and it was decided there are some things we just aren't meant to understand. I was with little cousins and also at a nursing home this weekend and just observed the simple faith the people in these two stages of life experience just from living life. What a blessing to have simple faith in the Creator of all instead of trying to logically explain and reason out everything...
Song. Music is so powerful, which is probably why I am always posting music lyrics, and my friends and I cannot go anywhere without music. We usually just end up making our own music, haha. I was able to sing old hymns with my grandmother in her room at the nursing home today, and it brought tears to my eyes. There are many things she cannot remember, but the words to "Victory in Jesus" and "Just a Closer Walk with Thee" and many others are forever in her mind. She sang those words flawlessly with a look of utter joy and peace in her eyes that I have not seen in a long time.
Surprises. God has surprised me with some amazing people lately. People I was not necessarily looking for or desiring, but possibly what I need. He seems to be reminding me of the respect and care that I deserve. I am in complete shock that I could be enjoying life this much at this point...enjoying it more than I ever have. One of these people has put so much of life into perspective for me, and particularly pointed out the difference between smiling and smiling with your heart. I think I would have to equate this to the difference between happiness and joy...think about it. You can be either sad or happy, but you can be joyful in happiness and sadness. HUGE difference. "Remember to always be joyful because you never know who is falling in love with your smile" (especially the smile of your heart).
Love. This word is so overused, yet so taken for granted. Only in the past few months have I made some key observations about the different types of love. I admiringly watched some heroes in my life who daily die to themselves for the person they love and never think twice. These couples have a love that exemplifies the love of Christ, and it is blatantly obvious how different the love they share is from the love I thought I had. It is the love that led them to marry their best friend and grows deeper everyday as they draw nearer to their Savior...the love that has kept them together for years. Always surround yourself with people you love and make you feel loved, whether that is family or friends or those who fit both categories ;)
just a few deep thoughts...go watch a cartoon or Disney movie or something now. Happy Thanksgiving and Merry CHRISTmas :)
Fall colors. As I noticed the changing of the leaves, I was reminded that I have ridden the rollercoaster of an interesting season of my life and came through rejoicing! Things change, life goes on, and realizing the purpose of every change has given me unspeakable joy :)
Country. Is what I am...haha. I loved driving and seeing nothing but land and livestock. And once we finally turned on the radio, I was singing classic country songs with my momma and it was priceless!
Laughter. I sat around a table for a couple of hours Friday night doing nothing but laughing about past memories and present events. It was truly a blessing to see my grandparents so alive surrounded by people they love dearly and even hear some new stories.
Service. There are women and men in my life who have always demonstrated selfless service, and it is simply amazing to me. It seems like they are never selfish...maybe that comes with having children. I see the love of Christ exemplified through their simple acts of kindness from a servant's heart. So I have a new goal...at least one act of service out of kindness everyday. I know that it should be natural and happen more than once a day, but I have to build a habit and start somewhere.
Children and Senior Adults. It seems that when our minds are more simple, we appreciate so much more. There was some discussion and question about the Bible, and it was decided there are some things we just aren't meant to understand. I was with little cousins and also at a nursing home this weekend and just observed the simple faith the people in these two stages of life experience just from living life. What a blessing to have simple faith in the Creator of all instead of trying to logically explain and reason out everything...
Song. Music is so powerful, which is probably why I am always posting music lyrics, and my friends and I cannot go anywhere without music. We usually just end up making our own music, haha. I was able to sing old hymns with my grandmother in her room at the nursing home today, and it brought tears to my eyes. There are many things she cannot remember, but the words to "Victory in Jesus" and "Just a Closer Walk with Thee" and many others are forever in her mind. She sang those words flawlessly with a look of utter joy and peace in her eyes that I have not seen in a long time.
Surprises. God has surprised me with some amazing people lately. People I was not necessarily looking for or desiring, but possibly what I need. He seems to be reminding me of the respect and care that I deserve. I am in complete shock that I could be enjoying life this much at this point...enjoying it more than I ever have. One of these people has put so much of life into perspective for me, and particularly pointed out the difference between smiling and smiling with your heart. I think I would have to equate this to the difference between happiness and joy...think about it. You can be either sad or happy, but you can be joyful in happiness and sadness. HUGE difference. "Remember to always be joyful because you never know who is falling in love with your smile" (especially the smile of your heart).
Love. This word is so overused, yet so taken for granted. Only in the past few months have I made some key observations about the different types of love. I admiringly watched some heroes in my life who daily die to themselves for the person they love and never think twice. These couples have a love that exemplifies the love of Christ, and it is blatantly obvious how different the love they share is from the love I thought I had. It is the love that led them to marry their best friend and grows deeper everyday as they draw nearer to their Savior...the love that has kept them together for years. Always surround yourself with people you love and make you feel loved, whether that is family or friends or those who fit both categories ;)
just a few deep thoughts...go watch a cartoon or Disney movie or something now. Happy Thanksgiving and Merry CHRISTmas :)
Monday, November 16, 2009
Why Hello November...
Yes, I am still alive...and breathing...finally.
And I've had a cup of coffee and a large Dr. Pepper...so I am never going to sleep :(
Student teaching is over. I have a mixed emotions about that. I am completely ready for my own classroom, but I miss my kids dearly. I have never seen so many sad faces in my entire life, but I could not have asked for a better experience. It is truly amazing to see a teaching veteran in action, and for her to allow me to take control of her classroom. What a blessing! Now, I firmly believe that student teaching will be the deciding factor of whether you actually want to teach or not. It absolutely solidified my love for teaching, and I would not change my career path for all the money in the world.
College is over. I have mixed emotions about that, as well. I bought my cap and gown today and addressed too many graduation invitations...slightly emotional experience. I hope I can walk the stage with complete composure. I am so proud to be graduating from the best university in the world...I am in love with Texas A&M and with Aggies...
THAT is over. I deserve much better...and I'm a little more country than that. So here is a warning to all those with green tractors ;) --I'm not settling for anything. Take it or leave because I'm not changing for anyone...Christ has created me the way I am (and continues to mold me for the better) and I am FINALLY utterly satistifed and confident in that. Traditional? yes. Country? yes. Savior is first priority? yes. Confident? gradually. And sorry guys, my first love is my Savior...take it or leave it.
So here's to new beginnings. I have the most amazing friends in the world...I have absolutely no idea what I would do without them. God has placed them in my life to exemplify His love for me. I am going to be a teacher! (eventually haha) Something that I have waited for my entire life...praise God for fulfilled dreams. I have met some great people who have restored my faith in people in general (excluding those closest to me)...praise God for Divine appointments...
So there is an update on my life...stay tuned for more :) God bless and goodnight
And I've had a cup of coffee and a large Dr. Pepper...so I am never going to sleep :(
Student teaching is over. I have a mixed emotions about that. I am completely ready for my own classroom, but I miss my kids dearly. I have never seen so many sad faces in my entire life, but I could not have asked for a better experience. It is truly amazing to see a teaching veteran in action, and for her to allow me to take control of her classroom. What a blessing! Now, I firmly believe that student teaching will be the deciding factor of whether you actually want to teach or not. It absolutely solidified my love for teaching, and I would not change my career path for all the money in the world.
College is over. I have mixed emotions about that, as well. I bought my cap and gown today and addressed too many graduation invitations...slightly emotional experience. I hope I can walk the stage with complete composure. I am so proud to be graduating from the best university in the world...I am in love with Texas A&M and with Aggies...
THAT is over. I deserve much better...and I'm a little more country than that. So here is a warning to all those with green tractors ;) --I'm not settling for anything. Take it or leave because I'm not changing for anyone...Christ has created me the way I am (and continues to mold me for the better) and I am FINALLY utterly satistifed and confident in that. Traditional? yes. Country? yes. Savior is first priority? yes. Confident? gradually. And sorry guys, my first love is my Savior...take it or leave it.
So here's to new beginnings. I have the most amazing friends in the world...I have absolutely no idea what I would do without them. God has placed them in my life to exemplify His love for me. I am going to be a teacher! (eventually haha) Something that I have waited for my entire life...praise God for fulfilled dreams. I have met some great people who have restored my faith in people in general (excluding those closest to me)...praise God for Divine appointments...
So there is an update on my life...stay tuned for more :) God bless and goodnight
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Not All Heroes Wear Capes
Goodbye summer...I will miss thee greatly...
So it's been about a month since my last post because I have no time to breathe, much less write a blog. I began student teaching 2.5 weeks ago!!! My fellow teachers were not lying when they said it would be a crazy semester. When I'm not at school, I'm sleeping, and when I'm not sleeping, I'm lesson planning. When I'm not lesson planning, I'm preparing materials. It's a vicious cycle and my social life has suffered irreparable damage, haha. But in complete honesty, it is worth every minute.
I have never been happier in a job in my entire life, and I am not even getting paid. Does that say something? I'm told this is one of the most difficult classes to come through the school, and somehow I still adore every one of those children. A few test and try my patience on a daily basis, but at the same time to "still see God in every child" has never carried so much meaning. It's become a habit to pray for my students...each and every one...because my heart breaks the struggles they have already faced and are facing in just a few years of life. It really puts things into perspective.
Part of my adoration for them could be that they never cease to amaze me with the things that they say. My friends keep reminding me to keep a list of all the quotes....
"Miss Walker, I need a girlfriend real bad. And I need your help. Here's the thing...I'm going to need some flowers, probably lupines (from a story we read in class) and guitar lessons for sure. Then I can get a girlfriend."
"Miss Walker, what is your first name?!" So I told them to read my nametag. "It says MISS Walker. Your first name is MISS?! Why do all teachers have the same first name???"
I wish the people that know me best could see me teaching and interacting with my students because that is me in my element. Doing what I was created to do brings a smile to my face like few other things can. Seeing a struggling student finally succeed in the smallest way can very well bring me to tears. I listened to a speech by a middle school student about the heroes in his life -- his mom and his teachers. I have never met the student or anyone he mentioned and I was in tears by the end of the speech. Most teachers I know (including myself) would never consider themselves heroes, much less want credit or thanks for what they do, but they still treat their duties with the utmost care and gravity. There is so much more to teaching than a list of objectives, lesson plans, copying papers, and tests. I can't imagine how people can enter into a teaching career so lightly as if they have nothing better to do...
"Teachers affect eternity...they never know where their influence will end..." -Henry Adams
And that's all for me at the moment! Time to hop back into the cycle...after dinner with the girls of course ;) stay tuned!!!
So it's been about a month since my last post because I have no time to breathe, much less write a blog. I began student teaching 2.5 weeks ago!!! My fellow teachers were not lying when they said it would be a crazy semester. When I'm not at school, I'm sleeping, and when I'm not sleeping, I'm lesson planning. When I'm not lesson planning, I'm preparing materials. It's a vicious cycle and my social life has suffered irreparable damage, haha. But in complete honesty, it is worth every minute.
I have never been happier in a job in my entire life, and I am not even getting paid. Does that say something? I'm told this is one of the most difficult classes to come through the school, and somehow I still adore every one of those children. A few test and try my patience on a daily basis, but at the same time to "still see God in every child" has never carried so much meaning. It's become a habit to pray for my students...each and every one...because my heart breaks the struggles they have already faced and are facing in just a few years of life. It really puts things into perspective.
Part of my adoration for them could be that they never cease to amaze me with the things that they say. My friends keep reminding me to keep a list of all the quotes....
"Miss Walker, I need a girlfriend real bad. And I need your help. Here's the thing...I'm going to need some flowers, probably lupines (from a story we read in class) and guitar lessons for sure. Then I can get a girlfriend."
"Miss Walker, what is your first name?!" So I told them to read my nametag. "It says MISS Walker. Your first name is MISS?! Why do all teachers have the same first name???"
I wish the people that know me best could see me teaching and interacting with my students because that is me in my element. Doing what I was created to do brings a smile to my face like few other things can. Seeing a struggling student finally succeed in the smallest way can very well bring me to tears. I listened to a speech by a middle school student about the heroes in his life -- his mom and his teachers. I have never met the student or anyone he mentioned and I was in tears by the end of the speech. Most teachers I know (including myself) would never consider themselves heroes, much less want credit or thanks for what they do, but they still treat their duties with the utmost care and gravity. There is so much more to teaching than a list of objectives, lesson plans, copying papers, and tests. I can't imagine how people can enter into a teaching career so lightly as if they have nothing better to do...
"Teachers affect eternity...they never know where their influence will end..." -Henry Adams
And that's all for me at the moment! Time to hop back into the cycle...after dinner with the girls of course ;) stay tuned!!!
Sunday, August 16, 2009
This is what brothers are for....
The last few days I have just been thinking about those American heroes that put there lives on the line for me every single day...
I am in a state of complete awe, reverence, gratitude, and support for our Armed Forces.
Let me just go off on a political tangent for a minute...how can people call themselves Americans and not completely support the men and women who fight to defend that right?! Anyone who has ever taken a history class (or has been alive?) knows what sacrifices have been made to position our Nation where it is today.
Thank God for selfless individuals who are willing to make the ultimate sacrifice, even for those who protest their efforts...I am currently surrounded by many of these people at A&M and have the utmost respect for them...
"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13
Today I heard the song "Brothers" by Dean Brody, which is about a brother who leaves for war against his younger brother's wishes, but he continually reminds him that "this is what brothers are for." Every time I hear it I remember my good friend, Lt. Zachary Cook, who lost his life in January serving our country. I stood before an American flag at graduation on Friday singing my National Anthem...since January, and I am sure for the rest of my life, I will not be able to do this without tears filling my eyes. Those stars and stripes have taken on a complete different meaning for me, so forgive me if I get frustrated when someone refuses to put their hand on their heart or take that seriously. I cannot even imagine how veterans and those currently serving must feel when the people they are fighting for refuse to show their gratitude or even blatently protest their efforts... "forgive them for they know not what they do"
probably exactly how my Savior felt...laying down his life for a world who rejected him and continues to do so to this day...
"Greater love has no one than this, that He lay down his life for his friends."
I could probably go on forever, but I think I might actually get some sleep tonight...
God bless America. God bless our troops. God bless.
I am in a state of complete awe, reverence, gratitude, and support for our Armed Forces.
Let me just go off on a political tangent for a minute...how can people call themselves Americans and not completely support the men and women who fight to defend that right?! Anyone who has ever taken a history class (or has been alive?) knows what sacrifices have been made to position our Nation where it is today.
Thank God for selfless individuals who are willing to make the ultimate sacrifice, even for those who protest their efforts...I am currently surrounded by many of these people at A&M and have the utmost respect for them...
"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13
Today I heard the song "Brothers" by Dean Brody, which is about a brother who leaves for war against his younger brother's wishes, but he continually reminds him that "this is what brothers are for." Every time I hear it I remember my good friend, Lt. Zachary Cook, who lost his life in January serving our country. I stood before an American flag at graduation on Friday singing my National Anthem...since January, and I am sure for the rest of my life, I will not be able to do this without tears filling my eyes. Those stars and stripes have taken on a complete different meaning for me, so forgive me if I get frustrated when someone refuses to put their hand on their heart or take that seriously. I cannot even imagine how veterans and those currently serving must feel when the people they are fighting for refuse to show their gratitude or even blatently protest their efforts... "forgive them for they know not what they do"
probably exactly how my Savior felt...laying down his life for a world who rejected him and continues to do so to this day...
"Greater love has no one than this, that He lay down his life for his friends."
I could probably go on forever, but I think I might actually get some sleep tonight...
God bless America. God bless our troops. God bless.
Friday, August 7, 2009
I have found my Love and my heart is rejoicing...
I want you to meet the One I have fallen completely in love with....
He is in a constant, passionate pursuit of me
He created flowers just for me
He answers every time I call
He wrote 66 books of love letters to me
He loves to fish...the Fisher of Men
He is my strength in weakness
He is enthralled by my beauty...created me in the image of the Most Beautiful One
He loves to hear me sing...especially to Him
He holds me when i'm hurting...while His heart is breaking
He loves me unconditionally, though I fail Him over and over and over
He wants to be involved in every moment of my every day
He paints a beautiful sunset every morning for me, reminding me that it cannot even compare to my beauty
He begins tugging on my heart and calling me when He misses me
He is amazing at the ultimate long distance relationship
He loves being the topic of conversation
He really did hang the moon
He loves his family more than anything
He introduced me to the most amazing girls...and rejoices in my girl time
He always provides
He spoils me with the sights and sounds of His creation for me
He carries me...at my strongest and weakest
He encourages me relentlessly
He challenges and makes me to be a better person...but forgives me every time I fail
He brings the only Peace that can calm me when I'm stressed or angry
He knows my needs even before i do
He is constantly surprising me..while remaining a complete mystery
He is always with me
He delights tremendously in just spending quality time with me
He will NEVER lie to me or cheat on me...even though I lie to and cheat on Him with worldly distractions
He knows me better than I know myself
He would....and did....give his life for me
He is the Love of my life...the Author and Perfector of my faith...Perfect Peace....
He is my everything
I wonder...do you know Him?
He is in a constant, passionate pursuit of me
He created flowers just for me
He answers every time I call
He wrote 66 books of love letters to me
He loves to fish...the Fisher of Men
He is my strength in weakness
He is enthralled by my beauty...created me in the image of the Most Beautiful One
He loves to hear me sing...especially to Him
He holds me when i'm hurting...while His heart is breaking
He loves me unconditionally, though I fail Him over and over and over
He wants to be involved in every moment of my every day
He paints a beautiful sunset every morning for me, reminding me that it cannot even compare to my beauty
He begins tugging on my heart and calling me when He misses me
He is amazing at the ultimate long distance relationship
He loves being the topic of conversation
He really did hang the moon
He loves his family more than anything
He introduced me to the most amazing girls...and rejoices in my girl time
He always provides
He spoils me with the sights and sounds of His creation for me
He carries me...at my strongest and weakest
He encourages me relentlessly
He challenges and makes me to be a better person...but forgives me every time I fail
He brings the only Peace that can calm me when I'm stressed or angry
He knows my needs even before i do
He is constantly surprising me..while remaining a complete mystery
He is always with me
He delights tremendously in just spending quality time with me
He will NEVER lie to me or cheat on me...even though I lie to and cheat on Him with worldly distractions
He knows me better than I know myself
He would....and did....give his life for me
He is the Love of my life...the Author and Perfector of my faith...Perfect Peace....
He is my everything
I wonder...do you know Him?
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