I am a teacher.

I cannot speak for every single teacher because I know that there are lazy people just as in ANY profession.

But too many people discredit the whole for some of the parts.

I am a teacher...
And it's so much more than a job...
It's a calling.

I hear things in class about your family that would turn you 5 shades of red if you knew they told...but I just laugh because it's good to know everyone is human.

I answer the hard questions that I don't have answers to...like "do you think my daddy's ever coming home?"

I teach the art of thinking. Think about that one.

I have a Bachelor's Degree in education from Texas A&M University.  Teaching was not my "back-up plan."

I shelter a child from the laughter and questions of their classmates after they've accidentally wet their pants.

I come up with ways to keep a child awake and attentive when they have no bedtime.

I am the mediator in every dispute.

I play disciplinarian when parents do not...all while trying to maintain order in a classroom.

I teach 20 different students on 20 different levels of understanding, so that each one will feel successful in their own way.

I answer to parents who arrive at conference in their pajamas and have rescheduled 5 times, but think I'm not doing my job correctly.

I influence character. My eyes, ears, and heart are always listening and watching.

I am a role model. Your child spends more time with me each day during the school year than with you.

I am a safe shelter.

I supervise and assist in the rebuilding of the Titanic and Oregon Trail wagons, so your child can be a historian too.

I could be sued and lose my teaching license if someone irrational decides that a crying child can't be hugged, or success doesn't deserve a pat on the back.

I explain finances to children...how to manage money whether they are in need or have plenty.

I am a world tour guide, even though they may never actually leave our city limits.

I am a nurse. Bandaids are gold, and I can only pray nothing worse than an upset stomach ever happens to one of my students because I love them.

I have shed many tears in just two years over the stories of students, or of having tried a million ways to help a student understand something.

I make the call about whether those bruises actually came from a bicycle accident or not. 

I watch and assist in 50 attempts and then rejoice in the trill of success.

I spend hundreds of dollars from my meager paycheck each year, so that my students will have hands on activities and authentic experiences. 

I find the answer to every why question...so that they never stop asking why.

I teach social interaction because video games can't.

I purchase snacks for the child who, after leaving school, won't eat again until they return tomorrow.

I manage your little league, dance, and sports camp forms, but I can't even get homework returned.

I motivate students to keep learning and stay in school, so they can be the first generation in their family to make it to college.

I attend all day workshops during the summer, when I'm not lesson planning and researching.

My day is never monotonous or repetitive.  I don't get to be sick or sad because I must be at the top of my game every single day.

Heaven forbid anything every happens, but I will take a bullet, a hit, or jump in front of a car for your child.

I am an entertainer because at some sad point, parents stopped asking "what did you learn today?" and started asking "did you have fun today?"

I calm the anxieties of children over a state test that doesn't accurately test their abilities.

I am a community service advocate because we can't produce a generation that doesn't give back.

I don't reinvent the wheel, but must invent 100 different ways to explain it...sometimes in the middle of the day in front of 20 students. 

I am at the mercy of a government that no longer believes education is a priority.  I don't want more salary, I want better for my students.

I work (prepare yourselves) year round. I would LOVE to teach year round. I teach from 7:30-3:30 August though May. I stay at still until 4:30 at least...sometimes 6:30. Then, I go home to a stack of assessments to check to monitor understanding and lesson plans for the following day. In the summer, I attend workshops, tutor, read books on teaching, lesson plan, and prepare materials. If I only worked 7:30-3:30, your child's papers would never be graded; they would never have learning activities; they would never get after school tutoring; they would never have modified instructional assignments.

No, I sure don't deserve the pay of a CEO, but that CEO had teachers too.  And whether you admit it or not, your teachers impacted your lives in a way very, very few people have or can. 

So don't increase my pay...
I don't need your praise or thanks...
I don't need gifts and notes...
But I deserve respect. 

I am a teacher.

"Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art.... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival." ~C.S. Lewis

It's just one of those things you don't adequately appreciate until it's gone. Now don't misunderstand me, Nick is my best friend (second only to my Savior). I wouldn't be marrying him otherwise.

However...there's just something unique and special about the bond between a girl and her girl friends. It's hard to beat the laughs or tears shared over a glass of wine or a margarita about things only your girls understand! I've come to the realization that you just can't replace your college friends, who become more like sisters in those few years. I think living so far from them has just hit me pretty hard finally.

I just long for the sweet, trusting, dependent, sincere friendships I shared with those girls. It's not easy to move somewhere so far from friends and family and not be able to develop those relationships. I just miss girls' night out, girl trips, women's Bible study, wine & movie nights, dance parties, and those special heart-to-hearts, as cheesy as it sounds. There's nothing like wedding planning to make you miss close friends to share it all with...My manly fiancé is only interested in so many details, haha.

So the prayers continue....I know God has a plan for this. My greatest desire in these selfish thoughts is to have the blessing of bring a good friend to someone else. God has given me the spiritual gift of encouragement, and I just don't feel that I'm using it to it's full potential right now. Maybe He wants me to lean more heavily on His friendship...to which none other can compare. Maybe He wants me to focus on my best friend as we prepare to spend our lives together. Maybe He is preparing my heart to be a friend to someone that desperately needs it.

In other news...I survived my first week of third grade!!! My students are so fun, but we've got a lot of work to do. I pray for them daily...pray that they will see Jesus through my every word and action.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

1 down...approximately 35 to go.

TOMORROW IS THE LAST DAY OF MY FIRST YEAR OF TEACHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
...well kinda...I still have Flex days, but they don't really count.

*long, slow, deep breath* It has been a phenomenal year. I don't even know where to begin.
We'll start with a few lessons learned:
-ALWAYS take ziploc baggies on long bus rides for children like myself who get motion sick.
-brainwashing is effective. gig 'em ags.
-if you don't dedicate time to teaching them to tie their shoes, you're gonna have to do it the whole year.
-get a flu shot. or get the flu.
-hugs are my favorite. even if they're at my knees.
-if you give a 5-year-old a gluestick, they may eat it. if you give them rubber bands, they WILL shoot each other in the face.
-you can learn a lot about life (yours and everyone else's) around a teacher lunch table.
-Panhandle temperatures below freezing=no recess=two looooooooooooooooooong months.
-there is no easy way to eat a cupcake, especially when you're 5.
-being left-handed is surely a handicap...because it is extremely difficult to teach.
-spills are part of life. an excessive part of life in kindergarten.
-if you ask 5-year-olds to perform on stage, someone is absolutely going to lift their skirt, pick their nose, or have to go pee.
-everything can directly relate to Justin Bieber.
-"If I lived in a castle..." is a writing prompt that will likely lead to sentences like "I would sleep with Justin Bieber" or "I would have a beer with Justin Bieber."
-"Miss Walker!!!! Poker face starts with 'P' too!!!"
-if somebody "said the 'F' word", it was probably "dumb" or "stupid"...and I should probably do a better job of teaching initial sounds in words
-I work with the MOST amazing people...I can't even adequately express my gratitude for how they have guided me through my first year and welcomed me into this community...
-it is so good to be back in small town Texas. even if everyone knows your name, your past, your present, and your future. or think they do anyway.
-at any time of day or night that you go to the grocery store, you will know at least one person.
-running is good for the body, mind, and soul. until you see a skunk, have to dodge a biker, or run consistently against 30 mph winds.
-I picked a great year to be a new Aggie in Raiderland :)
-there are some things around the house that men are just better at.
-a mustang doesn't handle snow well...at all.
-if you lose your keys...dang...just don't lose your keys.
-the greatest of friends come in all ages and stages of life
-a child is so fragile, so impressionable, with knowledge so underestimated
-teaching a child to read opens up their world and lights up their eyes
-patience is true love in action

God is so good, so faithful, so wonderful. His mercy never ceases to amaze me. This first year in the "real world" has taught me so much about myself...who I am in my Savior. I have never felt so in step with Christ, moment by moment...leaning on Him when my patience, body, and spirit are weak...yearning for His Word...pleading on bended knee for His reassurance and direction...relishing in His love and affection.

In the absence of my family and best of friends, my Heavenly Father has made me so dependent on Him. I have tasted the sweetness of His faithfulness and goodness...the words "'tis so sweet to trust in Jesus" have never meant so much. I took such a leap of faith this time one year ago. One of the excerpts from my devotional describes that leap and this year so perfectly, "A little girl trusts her daddy so completely because she has no reason not too. He stands away from the edge of the bed that she stands on and continues to back away, calling her to jump to him...and so she soars, and so she flies...and so he catches her. And the two rejoice at the wedding of her trust and his faithfulness."

If He called me to leave this place, I would get in the car and drive. If He called me to change careers, I would not hesitate. Instead, He has called me to trust.

So instead of planning, I have surrendered...
I have renewed my contract.
I have fallen completely in love with my best friend.
I have formed new friendships.
I have demanded more of my body than I thought possible.
I have learned patience.
I have renewed my faith and commitment to Him.

He has stolen my heart, my plans, my future, and turned my world upside down. I have the God of all "as my pinch-hitter, my lawyer, my dad, my biggest fan, and my best friend." Sacred delight is a moment by moment decision, and more of a blessing than I could ever have imagined.

Black and White

God bless those little children.

I've probably added 5+ years to my life simply by teaching them for a mere 7 months.

From observing children, I remember how everything in childhood was so black and white. Proof as follows...

"Don't be ridiculous! If you don't go to college, you will be homeless. Do you know what that means?! You have to sleep in the middle of the street NAKED."

"Miss Walker...you know that if it's not sweet, I don't want to eat it for snack."

"You CANNOT be serious. Pick one...you can't like the Red Raiders AND the Aggies."

"Miss Walker! I picked up his crayon for him! He said thank you! I feel good!"

"If you do not share that book with me, I just don't think you love God."

You believed in Santa, the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter bunny...or you didn't.
You simply adored school, or you hated it.
There were foods you inhaled, and those you wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole.
Animals called for hugs and smiles, or fear and tears.


And the simple thoughts, words, and actions of children are so applicable to the most important things in life. "Assuredly I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will by no means enter it." Mark 10:15

I was sitting in a Bible class on Sunday, when a discussion began about people who do not take all of the Bible literally, that time frames may not be equivalent to our time frames, or that there may be some "inaccuracies." The first thing that always enters my mind is...how can you believe some, but not all? How can you accept that God created, but not that He performed miracles? How can you not believe that He could do anything? When people begin deep theological discussions, I can't help but shy away. I have a simple faith...faith based on my testimony and salvation experience. The blood of the Sacrificial Lamb, God who humbled himself and walked on Earth as a man, was shed for the remission of sins...for those who desire to receive the gift of God. Out of gratitude for a gift that we are not worthy of and could never repay, we live to glorify Him...through a consistent heart of worship, through marriage that reflects the perfect relationship of Christ and His Bride the Church or through full devotion to him in singleness, through a heart of servitude, and through unconditional love and uncontainable joy.

When I think about trying to "prove Christ" many C.S. Lewis quotes also come to mind...

"I am trying here to prevent anyone saying the really foolish thing that people often say about Him; I'm ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I don't accept his claim to be God. That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic -- on the level with a man who says he is a poached egg -- or else he would be the Devil of Hell. You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God, or else a madman or something worse. You can shut him up a fool, you can spit at him and kill him as a demon, or you can fall at his feet and claim him Lord and God, but let us not come with any patronizing nonsense about his being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us. He did not intend to."
- C. S. Lewis

So there it is...either you accept all of it...or you can't accept any of it. And how can you not accept it? Lewis also said "...if the whole universe has no meaning, we should never have found out that it has no meaning..." Powerful truth.

I've started a new Bible study on my own that had a very relevant analogy. I am very much a daddy's girl, so I could totally relate...a little girl jumps from the bed or off a diving board into her daddy's arms. She looks at him, giggles, and jumps without hesitation. She trusts him because he has never given her a reason not to. "And so she soars, and so she flies...and so he catches her and the two rejoice at the wedding of her trust and his faithfulness." Those simple words brought tears to my eyes...I do not question anything about the majesty, omniscence, omnipotence, etc. of Christ but I worry, which is doubting Him...when he has never given me a reason not to trust him. And every time I take a leap of faith landing sweetly in His faithful arms, I am so embarrassed that I was ever concerned about anything.

And at the end of it all, what questions will you be asking when you gaze upon the face of the Savior for the first time? Will there be anything more important at that moment than falling prostrate at the feet of Jesus? Will there be any thought in your mind other than overwhelming joy, humility, gratitude, devotion, adoration, praise, and love?
"I know now, Lord, why you utter no answer. You are yourself the answer. Before your face questions die away. What other answer would suffice?"
-C. S. Lewis

2011?!

2010 was definitely an awesome rebound from 2009! It has had it's share of pain, and more "Leaps of Faith" than I ever thought possible...but I think I'll call it "The Year of Second Chances."
Some of my favorite memories:

• Ringing in the New Year in dowtown Dallas with some of my favorite people in the whole world.
• PBR Rodeo at Cowboys Stadium & Cowboys afterward with my girls
• Spring Break on the beach - crazy, crazy, crazy.
• filling a weekly obsession with country dancing...Dallas, Ft. Worth, Sherman, Terrell, New Braunfels, College Station, Huntsville...
• Motorcross race weekend in Dallas with my sweet boyfriend...and Pete's Piano bar afterward with my cousin!
• Chilifest...Team Keystone Lake & Resort...enough said.
• Bridget's Aggie Ring Weekend!
• becoming a VIP/"penguin" at Harry's...I just love to dance.
• Surprising Nick at the River Trip
• Family reunion at the lake
• finding real, unconditional love
• "Does this shirt make me look tall?"
• weekends in the country with Britt's family
• River trip/Shiner Brewery tour with my girls
• 3 day driving escapade across Texas for job interviews
• Estes Park, CO with Julie and Jenn...what an awesome place to see the glory of my Savior!
• DeJong 25th Anniversary party
• Walker family reunion
• 1/2 of my first year as a teacher! and a Kindergarten teacher at that!
• the great move to the Panhandle...better known as Antarctica, TX.
• seeing Easton Corbin live
• getting back into running!
• surprise birthday trip to Colorado Springs with my sweet Nick!
• going home at Thanksgiving for the first time in a while
• Poncho!!!
• reunion weekend in College Station with my girls!
• Christmas break with my amazing family

So 2011, I don't know how you arrived so quickly, but I welcome you with open arms. I am in a career that I love, in a place that I love, near a man that I love, supported by a family I love, and under the watchful eye of the God of love. It doesn't get much better than that! Oddly enough (and a good way to start the new year), I was in staff development today with a speaker specializing in brain development and how to use that in the classroom. Little did I know how applicable it would be to my own life. The memory and brain develop through 5 important things; talking (I'm already pretty good at that), moving (good thing I've rediscovered a love for running- teaching Kindergarten might help that too haha), connecting (new information, old information, memories, etc), thinking positively (confidence and less stress/anger/fear), and having a purpose (find what and who you love).

So after some thinking and praying I've made some decisions for the new year...I refuse to call it "New Year's Resolutions" but rather a change of heart.

talking- Most of the time I'd rather just have surface conversations, short in duration and about nothing much deeper than the weather. That's not loving people as Christ loved people...I think it's time I open up a little.

moving- I teach Kindergarten...I am constantly moving. And I'm back into distance running, so hopefully this one is taking care of itself.

connecting- I love to write, so I'll be trying to use my blog and journal more often for thinking through my thoughts and ideas...and to have them for looking back on later.

thinking positively- I have improved so much in this area. I think it helps that the man I adore doesn't have a negative bone in his body and being around 19 of the most joyful people every day for 8 hours :) Life's too short to be upset. Little things that used to matter, just don't matter so much anymore. I'd rather delight in the joy my Savior brings.

having a purpose- to glorify God. I thought it was interesting that this was such a huge factor. People without a purpose live much shorter lives than people who determine and pursue a purpose. I'm reminding myself everyday to walk closely with my sweet Jesus and entrust Him with every future moment. I even taped a reminder on my bathroom mirror, so that I will read it every morning.

Each day, I'll be putting on the full armor of God and a smile...so 2011...bring on the blessings and joy!

Look forward to lookin' back with you...

Ohhhh life...the pace has definitely changed since my move up here to God's country, but I still don't even have time to keep up my blog...



I made a crazy last minute trip to Dallas this weekend to see one of my best friends and have my heart broken by my Aggies once again...so we'll just say it was to see one of my best friends :) In my 14 hours of driving, I had a lot of time to think and reflect. In a couple of weeks, I will be 23 and quite bit has happened in this 23rd year of my life. If I could sum it all up in one word, it would be...



Trust.



What I once thought was true love based on real trust was irreparably damaged by a shaky foundation...so I turned to friends...

I found the sweet trusting relationship of a group of sisters...not by blood, but by choice...

Once again, that trust was damaged in some of those relationships...but some of them are forever...

I forced myself into dating that my heart was not ready for...trust that my heart was not ready for...

So I turned to my family...those four people that love me unconditionally and eternally...those four people that pointed my directly to my heavenly Father...the only one who is fully deserving of my trust...the One who will never fail.



And then when I was ready, He brought someone else into my life...someone who took all of my post-graduation plans, shook them up, and landed me in Dalhart, Texas. But really, he was just a vessel being used by Christ because I know without a doubt this is where God wants me to be. Even on my hardest days of missing family and friends, I know that His purpose for me being here is bigger than my fears and insecurities. I have the love of a real man...a man who has become my best friend...a man who is so trustworthy and deserving of my whole heart. Having realized this, it has become so important that Christ remain the foundation of our relationship as we patiently wait for Him to prepare our hearts for whatever He has for our relationship and each of our lives.



I love Kindergarten. I didn't think I would possibly survive this year...I'm only two months in, but these precious children have stolen my heart. Every day I count my blessings and praise God for the family I was raised in. It has become even more clear that my attitude sets the tone for my classroom...and more than anything I pray that is an attitude of love and service. I pray for my students daily...they are so deserving of every good and perfect gift from God, as they have already been such precious gifts in my life. And here's what being in the will of God will get you:

-Within one week of teaching, the assistant principal passed me and said, "some people just have what it takes and you've got it! you're totally a natural!"

-The technology director met me in passing and just needed to mention that he had heard I was doing an outstanding job.

-My first 10-minute walkthrough observation was two weeks ago by the assistant principal. As she was leaving the room she said, "You make me want to skip the rest. You're fantastic and I know others won't go nearly this well."

-The P.E. coach grabbed me in the hall, "I heard some nasty rumor that you're a first year teacher?! That absolutely cannot be possible..."

-19 out of 19 parents during conferences this week said that their child LOVES coming to school...what more could a teacher ask for?

And none of those things is to my credit...all glory to God because without him I'm not sure I could put up with 19 five-year-olds on a daily basis. It is such an awesome challenge to keep these young children engaged and loving learning...and much less of a challenge for them to keep me entertained! Ha! We're headed to the Pumpkin Patch next week, then it's Red Ribbon Week, Halloween, etc...I think it's safe to assume that my currently hectic life is about to become chaotic.

On the personal life side of things...I've found some great, inspirational women. In fact, they are so inspirational, I've agreed to participate in a half marathon on May 1st in Colorado!!! We've already been training for a little over a month, and so far I love it. But running is not the only time I've enjoyed spending with them...thank God for kind, caring people. My roommate and I are reserved seat season ticket holders for the Dalhart Golden Wolves football team--it's not A&M, but it's football :) So between marathon training, hanging out with the girls, lesson planning, spending time with one amazing guy, being a grown up, driving all over the place just to find Walmart, going to bed at 9:00, and staying in touch with family and friends...life is pretty crazy, but I guess that's the way I prefer it! I'm certainly looking forward to heading home this weekend to some people I love and miss very much...no complaints! God is so good!

Welcome to Kindergarten

So I'm beyond exhaustion...definitely too tired for this blogging...but I also don't want to have to repeat the stories 900 times. lol...so here it is:

6:00 am...wake up and prepare for the day...beginning on my knees in the presence of my Savior...because more than being a good teacher, I want to be the example of Christ to these children--to show them they are loved by at least one person in this world.

7:15 am...arrive at school and prepare for the day...and my first child shows up at 7:45ish soooo excited for life!

By 8:00, my class was full of 19 5&6 years olds. Our principal wrote a grant for free breakfast every day for the entire school because children cannot learn effectively if they are hungry. Today we had cereal with milk and orange juice...let me clarify, the children were allowed to eat DRY cereal and drink the milk to prevent many messes. HOWEVER...within the first 15 minutes of breakfast, we had 4 bowls of dry cereal spilled all over the floor and 1 juice box...making a pretty sticky mess. We actually accomplished much more than I anticipated! There is an aid in my classroom for the first two days and she insisted that I couldn't possibly be a first year teacher...everything was running much too smoothly, which made me feel very good. It makes things easier when you're doing something you were created to do :)

We had a meet your table-mates session in which each student did a puzzle of a picture of someone at their table...which created mass confusion because they thought the picture was supposed to be of themselves and that I had just really messed up. Then we had a meet the teacher session where each child had a picture of something about me (fav drink-Dr. Pepper, my best friends, my fav book- the Bible, my Dad, my Mom, my sisters, my pets, me in Kindergarten, etc.), which they absolutely loved!...especially knowing that their teacher was in kindergarten once upon a time ;)

Kindergarten is so interesting. They say the most hilarious things ("class lets create some rules for our classroom! give me an example" response: "don't throw rocks in the classroom!!!")...which will be documented throughout this blog...and they are really still babies. I had so many parents describe their child's special "potty dance," which has become high priority during my daily general observation for obvious reason, haha. At 11:15, I went to pick my class up from specials (P.E., music, computers, library) and several of them hugged me and looked at me and SHOUTED..."MISS WALKER!!!! We are sooooo excited to see you!!!" They are just too sweet and have stolen my heart already. One of my favorite things??? NOBODY is too cool for anything in Kindergarten. Their favorite part of the day was singing and dancing with me to a four line song about how we get to school! They probably would have done the song 800 times if I'd let them...it's the little things.

I just knew the morning went way too smoothly. We was about 15 minutes late to lunch because we were so engaged in learning...and because Miss Walker looked at the wrong lunch time :) Then, the school blew a transformer, so electricity went out all over the building. Meanwhile, the teacher's aid in my classroom was on the verge of losing conciousness from diabetic shock. I had no juice or candy in the room (which didn't even occur to me anyway until another teacher said it), so I was frantically running around the classrooms...great. And then I went back to teaching.

My students are precious. Their moods change at the drop of a hat and they will do ANYTHING to please the teacher. Every student demanded that I see every picture and paper that they completed. I have a couple of "energetic" ones...one who would probably walk backwards everywhere if I let him, one who insists on not listening and then telling me that he IS listening after I've asked for his attention for the third time, and a couple of very social butterflies...but I just adore every single one of them. When they get to go to the group carpet, it usually becomes a little chaotic, so I decided to create a masking tape grid so that every student would have a certain "spot" tomorrow...if necessary (or legal or socially acceptable) I would have a shock collar or hot wire fence grid because I think that would be very effective, hahaha---very much just kidding. And by the end of the day I learned they all have their trying side...I have cute name plates on their desks that were pretty pricey, so I had them laminated to be reusable. Each students name was written on them this morning, and as a I walked around this afternoon, not one name was one them...they wiped every single one off...hilarious. NOT. So I rewrote and TAPED over them. We'll see how they creatively undo that tomorrow.



So I left day one (at 6 pm) with:
green paint on my dress pants
a sore hand from class high fives gone wrong
heavy eyelids
sore feet
a semi-sore throat
"The first child gets to ride the bus" (to the tune of Mary Had a Little Lamb) stuck in my head
a new knowledge for taking care of people with diabetes
a new appreciation for air conditioning
"lunch is at 11:30, not 12:10" engraved on my mind
a hatred for tying shoelaces
a new appreciation for parents
19 new loves in my life :)

time for bed...seriously...more to come